I'm Your Biggest Fanatic
by Sovereign64
Summary: Lucy Heartfilia meets her idol Jose Porla and tries to get into the Phantom Lord Guild. Will she succeed? ONESHOT


Disclaimer: I don't own Fairy Tail.

_**I'm Your Biggest Fanatic**_

A girl and a boy both look amazed as they walk through a huge convention centre. The girl has blonde hair, tied to a side ponytail, wears a sleeveless zipper shirt with a blue stripe, blue skirt, brown belt and black boots. Her name was Lucy Heartfilia.

The boy has spiky pink hair and wears a sleeveless black jacket, brown belt with silver buckle, white pants and black sandals. His name was Natsu Dragneel.

Lucy and Natsu walk through the convention center in awe. There were several booths, several props in display and huge posters hanging onto the ceiling.

"Wow! I can't believe it! We're actually here at the annual Dragon convention!" Lucy said happily.

"Dragons are awesome!" Natsu said cheerfully.

Lucy and Natsu walk over to a dragon skeleton on display. A security guard named Lahar is standing next to it. "Cool! The skeleton of an ice-breathing dragon!" Lucy said.

"Touch." Natsu said as he touches the skeleton.

"Don't touch." Lahar said to them sternly.

Lucy and Natsu then walks over to a huge spear being displayed.

"Wow!" Lucy widens her eyes. "Jeremy Irons' spear from the Dungeons and Dragons movie!"

"Touch." Natsu said as he touches the spear.

"Don't touch!" Lahar said angrily as he walks over to them.

Lucy and Natsu then walk over to a stage where a woman who wears glasses and a cowboy hat is talking to some people while showing them a picture of a ferocious dragon.

"Wow Natsu! It's Daphne! The woman whose arm got burnt by Mean Magnus, and lived!" Lucy said to Natsu amazed.

"And it only hurts if you touch it." Daphne explained to the people while showing her arm wound. Natsu walks over to her and touches her arm, causing Daphne to scream in agony.

"Touch." Natsu said stupidly.

"DO I HAVE TO FOLLOW YOU EVERYWHERE YOU GO?" Lahar growled walking over to Natsu.

"AAAAHHHH!"

Natsu turns his head and rushes over to Lucy when he heard her scream.

"Natsu, look! Could it be?" Lucy asked, her eyes as wide as dinner plates.

"Ice cream?" Natsu said stupidly.

"No!" Lucy shook her head as she points at a guild whose leader is talking to the people listening to them. The leader has dark red hair, tied to a ponytail, a dark red moustache and wears blue robes. His name was Jose Porla. Behind him are five other members named Aria, Sol, Totomaru, Bozo and Sue.

"It's the Phnatom Lord Guild!" Lucy continued. "One of the greatest dragon hunting guilds of all time!" She smiled goofily and her eyes grew wide as she looks at their leader. "And their leader, the coolest master wizard ever, Jose Porla."

"What's so great about a guy who looks like Jack Sparrow injected with botox?" Natsu deadpanned as he folds his arms.

Lucy raised her hands as she uttered, "If I could just rub his palms, then maybe some of his wisdom and greatness will rub off on me."

Natsu rolled his eyes and Lucy frowned as he said to her, "Lucy, as your friend, I must say that's really geeky."

Just then, a man dressed as a purple dragon with a big smile walks past them. Natsu widens his eyes and gasped, seeing who he is.

"Oh my gosh! Dibo the Gift Dragon!" Natsu then chases after the dragon costume man. "Wait Dibo! Come back! I have to touch you!"

"HEY!" Lahar yelled angrily as he chases after Natsu. Lucy narrows her eyes. She's not going to listen to what Natsu says. She will go over and meet Jose and get some of his greatness.

"Bamboo? I only used compulsive materials for my net handle." Jose said to his attendees with a smirk. His attendees then murmured as they write down what he says onto their notepads.

"Okay next question." Jose asked. His attendees paused, then write down on their notepads and murmured again.

Lucy then appears in front of the attendees and widens her eyes in awe. "Duuuuuhhh, hi Jose." The attendees arch their eyebrows at her.

"Hi there, what is your question?" Jose asked Lucy.

"Hi Jose." Lucy said stupidly.

"Whatever." Jose then turns to the other side of the stage and points his finger. "Next question please."

Lucy appears at the other side of the stage and said to Jose, "Hi Jose."

Jose rolled his eyes and waves his fingers. "Hello loser." He looks up and points at the far back of his attendees. "Okay, you there, way at the back!"

Lucy appears at the back of the attendees and shouts, "Hi Jose."

Jose narrows his eyes, now completely annoyed. "Does anyone here have an actual…" Jose stops when he hears heavy breathing beside him. Jose, his guild members and the attendees turn their heads and see Lucy standing next to Jose, breathing heavily and covering her mouth with both hands.

"Hi Jose, I'm your biggest fan." Lucy smiled and blushed at him.

"You're too kind." Jose smiled, then turns his head and yells out, "SECURITY!"

"No wait!" Lucy waves her hands and widens her eyes. "I will do anything for you!"

"Why don't you go jump off a building?" Jose smirked. But he widens his eyes when a few seconds later, he hears Lucy screaming while plummeting through the air and lands on the ground with a huge thud. Jose, his guild members and the attendees jumped a bit.

Lucy comes back and walks onto the stage a few seconds later and for some reason, she doesn't have any injuries at all. "Anything!" Lucy uttered with a huge toothy grin.

Jose arches an eyebrow, and then asked, "Punch yourself in the face.

Lucy put on a boxing glove and punches herself in the nose. She now has a huge bruise on her left eye.

"Ouch, doesn't that hurt you?" Jose asked in concern.

Lucy then put on a metal glove with spikes on her knuckles. "Do you really want to hurt me, Jose?" Lucy asked.

Jose, his guild members and the attendees then burst out laughing. Jose slaps his knee and said, "That is the best!" He turns to his guild members. "This girl is great! We have got to bring this girl dragon hunting with us!"

"No master Jose, no! She's a geek!" Sue shakes her head.

"Look." Jose narrows his eyes at them and places his right hand on his hip. "Of course I'm not going to let you join our guild." An evil smirk appears on his face. "I just want to see how many times she gets burnt before she goes home crying for her mommy!"

Aria, Sol, Totomaru, Bozo and Sue smiled as Aria said, "Master Jose's a genius!" The five members then laughed.

Jose smirked before turning back to Lucy. "Hey miss, how would you like to try out for…the Phantom Lord Guild?" Jose asked.

Lucy lies motionlessly with a huge smile on her face on a stretcher with the wires of a pulse machine attached to her right arm. The line on the pulse machine is completely flat, meaning Lucy is dead.

A paramedic named Levy McGarden took out a pair of defibrillators and said, "Clear."

Levy presses the defibrillators onto Lucy's chest and Lucy immediately came back to life, jumps up and yells, "I LOVE IT!"

* * *

><p>Jose, Aria, Sol, Totomaru, Bozo and Sue smiled as they are riding on something while riding their way to the Dragon fields.<p>

"Aaahhh…" Jose sighed. "Nothing like driving through the Dragon Fields with the top down. Eh, my followers?"

"Yeaaahhh…" His guild members replied and it turns out they were riding on Lucy, who is breathing heavily while carrying all of them on her back while walking over to the fields.

Lucy stops at the middle of the field and her legs are shaking. "Well…here we are…the Dragon Fields…" Lucy breathed heavily. She then collapses onto the ground while Jose and his followers landed safely.

"I hope you don't forget our nets and hunting supplies." Jose said to Lucy with a glare.

"No! Of course!" Lucy got up with a smile. "I have it all right here!" She took out a huge box and opens it. Magically, all of the guild's hunting equipment appears.

Jose grabs all the equipment. Then, Lucy took out her own equipment and her eyes roll around frantically and she starts shaking all over like a psycho with seizure.

"I-can't-believe-I'm-out-here-with-the-Phantom-Lord-Guild." Lucy said extremely fast. "I-mean-all-my-life-I-want-to-be-part-of-the-Phantom-Lord-Guild-and-now-I'm-out-here-the-nets-and-the-jars-and-blah-blah-blah…."

Jose and the members watched Lucy shakes around in circles and continue blabbering extremely fast until Jose yelled, "STOP!" Lucy stops her shaking and poses awkwardly.

Jose folds his arms and smirked. "To be a Phantom Lord Guild member, you have to pass a rigorous test." He said sinisterly.

"Rigorous test! Hahahahaha!" His guild members laughed.

Jose looks annoyed by this and yells to them, "SHUT UP!" He turns back to Lucy, who is now holding a huge net that is made for catching dragons, and said, "Your first test…catch a small dragon."

Suddenly, a small dragon flies into Lucy's net. Lucy smiled and shows it to them. "Hey! I caught one! Am I in the Phantom Lord Guild now?" Lucy asked happily.

"Dragon in the net!" Sol said amazed. The other guild members murmured in amazement as well. Jose narrows his eyes. He is never going to let this girl join his guild even if she caught a dragon.

"That one doesn't count!" Joe said as he slaps the dragon inside Lucy's net. This causes the dragon to fly out of the net and blows fire at Jose's nose. Jose screams in agony and the dragon flies away after blowing fire on his nose. His nose is now completely black.

"Wah wah wah." Totomaru said.

"I meant two small dragons!" Jose yelled. Suddenly, two dragons fly into Lucy's net.

"Two dragons in the net!" Bozo said. The other guild members murmured again. Jose narrows his eyes angrily.

"That's not what I meant!" Jose waved his hand. "I meant TWENTY small dragons!"

Suddenly, twenty (or probably even more) dragons fly into Lucy's net.

"Oh wow." Lucy widens her eyes as she looks into her net filled with dragons. "Let's see, there's one, two, three, four…"

Jose growled angrily and kicks Lucy's net. This angered all the dragons as they all fly out and blow huge amounts of fire at him. Jose screamed in agony. After the dragons fly away, Jose is completely covered in burns and his clothes are burnt.

"Wah wah wah." Totomaru said again.

* * *

><p>Later, Jose is now holding a jar of marmalade and a butter knife.<p>

"Phantom Lord Guild members allow dragons to eat marmalade off their face." Jose said as he dips his knife into the jar, then spreads marmalade all over Lucy's lips and cheeks.

"Who wants to lick my cheeks!" Lucy yelled with a smile. She then sees a few small dragons flying over to her. "Oh, I see I got some takers."

"How does it feel?" Jose asked with a small smirk.

Lucy giggled as the dragons lick her face while forming a huge moustache and beard.

"It tickles my nose." Lucy laughed.

"Not…for long." Jose and his guild members burst out laughing, knowing that Lucy is screwed.

Unfortunately for Jose, Lucy let out a huge sneeze.

**"ACHOO!"**

All the dragons then fly over to Jose's face and they all blow fire at him. The guild members inch away from the display.

As the dragons fly away, Jose's face is completely black and his eyes are completely red.

"Wah wah wah." Totomaru said.

"WILL YOU CUT THAT OUT?" Jose yelled angrily at Totomaru.

"Am I in the Phantom Lord Guild now?" Lucy asked happily.

"No!" Jose said to Lucy, completely mad. "But I got several more tests for you to take!"

* * *

><p>Lucy comes back to Jose and his guild while walking with her hands. She is actually upside-down and holding her net with her feet. Inside the net was a small dragon. "Am I in the Phantom Lord Guild now?" Lucy asked.<p>

The dragon flies out of the net and blows fire at Jose, burning his nose.

"No!" Jose growled.

Later, Lucy comes back to Jose and his guild with a blindfold around her eyes and holding a net with a small dragon inside. "Am I in the Phantom Lord Guild now?" Lucy asked.

The dragon flies out and blows fire at Jose's head. His hair is burnt off.

"No!" Jose said.

Throughout the day, Jose continues giving more tests to Lucy, only for Lucy to continue succeeding and every time she catches a dragon, the dragon burns a part of Jose's body.

"Now?" Lucy smiled. The dragon blows fire at Jose's ears.

"No!" Jose said.

"Now?" Lucy asked again. The dragon blows fire at Jose's lips.

"No!" Jose said in a distorted voice.

"Now?" Lucy asked again. This time, the dragon blows fire at Jose's butt.

"NOOOO!" Jose shouted in agony.

"Now?" Burn. "Now?" Burn. "Now?" Burn. "Now?"

The dragons that Lucy caught continue burning Jose until his entire body is now covered with high degree burns.

Jose breathed heavily in anger and said, "That's it. IT IS YOUR TURN TO GET BUR-" Jose gasped. He almost blow away his cover. "I mean…" He calmed down. "Are you ready for your _final _test, Lucy Heartfilia?"

"I'M READY!" Lucy said with a huge grin on her face.

"You better be." Jose narrows his eyes and smirks evilly. "Because now, we are going to capture a _dragon queen_."

"A queen!" Lucy said, widening her eyes. "Can I help?"

"Oh sure!" Jose chuckled evilly. "We can't do it without you!"

* * *

><p>Lucy smiled as her arms and legs are now tied up to two separate wooden poles. "This is FAN-tastic!" Lucy said happily. "I've never been baited before!"<p>

Jose narrows his eyes at her as he and his guild stand in front of her. "Hmmm, I think I never saw a dragon queen either." Lucy said to them.

"Well, then perhaps you never used a dragon queen call." Jose said as he places a kazoo onto a stick and brings it up to Lucy. "Why don't you try it out?"

Lucy places the kazoo into her mouth and called in a kazoo-distorted voice, "Loser! Loser!"

Lucy moves the kazoo out of her mouth and said to Jose in her normal voice, "Hey! I heard this call before!"

"I bet you have." Jose said sinisterly. He and his guild members smirked as they walk over to a huge bush.

"Hey, where are you guys going?" Lucy asked in concern.

"Oh don't worry! We'll be behind this bush!" Jose said as he and his followers then kneel and hide behind the bush. Suddenly, he scream in agony as a dragon who was hiding behind the bush blows fire at his face.

As the dragon flies away, Jose pops out and said, "Who's got my burn ointment?"

Lucy looks up and smiles widely. "Wow!" She said to herself. "This is great! When I pass this test, I'll officially be a member of the Phantom Lord Guild!"

She puts on her kazoo again and calls out, "Loser! Loser! Loser! Loser!"

* * *

><p>However, hours later, the sun has started to set and Lucy is almost out of breath in calling through the kazoo.<p>

"Loser….Looooooserrrrr….." Lucy places the kazoo out of her mouth and sighed heavily. "Hey Jose." She said tiredly. "I don't think it's working. Nothing."

Just when Lucy has given up all hope, she looks up when a huge shadow is cast over her. Lucy widens her eyes and drops her jaw. Above her was a huge dragon with a small crown on its head. It's the dragon queen!

"HEY!" Lucy yelled happily. She turns to the bush that Jose and his guild were hiding behind. "Jose! She's here! She here, she's here, she's-"

She got cut off when the bush falls over. It's turns out it was a wooden prop and Jose and his guild weren't hiding behind it. All it's left was the ointment that Jose used. Lucy gasped in horror.

The dragon queen above her roars and Lucy screamed as she looks up at her. The dragon queen blows fire at her, burning off the ropes that were tying her.

Lucy got up and quickly run through the field, trying to run away from the dragon queen. The dragon queen follow her and Lucy run over the hills as the dragon queen tries to blow fire at her.

Lucy continues running until she arrived at the top of a cliff. Lucy gasps in horror and stops. She knew the cliff is too high for her to jump off.

She turns around and widens her eyes in fear as the dragon queen approaches. Lucy fell to her knees and begged for mercy. "Please don't hurt me, your highness! I never did anything wrong in my life!" Tears then roll down her cheeks as Lucy wailed in despair.

Suddenly, the dragon's eyes open up and Jose and his guild were in it. It's turns out to be a robot. Jose and his guild laughed at Lucy

Lucy gasped in realization. "Jose!" She said.

"That's right! You should have seen the look on your face when we burn you!" Jose smiled mockingly at her.

"But Jose! What about the final test?" Lucy asked, completely betrayed by her idol.

Jose and his guild burst out laughing. Jose then turns to Lucy and said, "Seriously girl? Do you think I will ever let a loser like you join my guild?"

"But Jose…I was your biggest fan." Lucy said, now saddened by this betrayal.

"So were they." Jose deadpanned as he points below the cliff. Lucy looks down and see several people stranded at the bottom.

"Hey look! Jose's back!" One fan yelled as they all looked up.

"Jose! We miss you! We love you Jose" The fans shouted to him. Lucy realized she's not the only one who got betrayed by Jose.

Lucy turns back to Jose and his guild with a sad frown on her face.

"You and your dorky dragon call." Jose smirked.

"Loser! Loser!" Jose and his guild chanted.

"I am not a loser!" Lucy protested, her face blushing in shame.

"Looooooser!" Jose mocked her. "Loser! Loser!"

His guild continue laughing at the ashamed girl until something appears before them. Lucy widens her eyes and gasped when a huge shadow casts over her. Jose and the guild stop laughing and gasp as well when they and Lucy see what was above.

It was a huge dragon with red scales, large wings and a long tail. And he wears a huge golden crown with jade jewels and a red cape with white fur.

"Oh….my….goodness!" Jose gasped.

"A dragon _king._" Lucy uttered.

The dragon king looks at the crown of the 'dragon queen' and he blushes as he immediately fell in love with it. He puckers his lips, wanting to kiss her. Jose and his guild gasp in horror.

"Kissy face!" Jose yelled as he quickly drives away from the dragon king. Lucy runs away from the dragon king as well.

The dragon king widens his eyes and chases after the 'dragon queen' and Lucy. He kept chasing them until Jose accidentally crashes the 'dragon queen' into a signboard. The fake dragon queen smashed to bits and Jose and his guild collapse onto Lucy.

The dragon king flies away and scratches his head, wondering what is going on. He looks down and sees the mechanical dragon queen now smash to bits. Lucy, Aria, Sol, Totomaru, Bozo and Sue are lying on the ground while Jose is shaking in fear while looking up at him.

"JOSE!" The dragon king roared angrily, knowing who the wizard is. He was the wizard that has been capturing his beloved residents of the field. The king then blows out huge amounts of fire upon Lucy, Jose and the others.

They all quickly got up and run away from the dragon king, who is extremely mad at them. They all run into and hide inside a nearby cave. The dragon king narrows his eyes, knowing he's too small to fit inside.

The dragon king flies away for a while, then comes back dressed up as an American football player. The dragon king smashes his head and body against the cave, causing the cave to shaked. Lucy, Jose and his guild try to maintain their posture in fear as the cave shakes and slowly collapses.

When the cave stops shaking, everybody gain back their posture and think that the dragon king has left.

"I think he's gone." Jose said, shaking in fear. "One of you, go out and check!"

Aria, Sol, Totomaru, Bozo and Sue look at each other and after a brief scuffle, they push Sol out of the cave. Sol look around and sees no sign of the dragon king.

Sol turns around and yells happily. "He's gone! He's gone!"

Suddenly, the dragon king blows huge amounts of fire on Sol, completely burning him.

"No he's not! He's not!" Sol yelled in fear as his body is completely burnt.

"Master! Save us!" Sue yelled as she, Aria, Totomaru and Bozo grab Jose by his arms and robe.

"Don't look at me!" Jose cried in fear as he shakes in fear. "I was only doing this for the fashion!"

Lucy looks at Jose with close observation and sees several geeky dragon pins and nametags on his robes and pants.

"Oh no! It's hopeless! We're trapped!" Jose wailed as tears rolled down his cheeks. He then sits at the corner and shivers in fear. "Help me mommy! I DON'T WANT TO DIE!"

"What do we do now?" Lucy asked Aria, Totomaru, Sol, Bozo and Sue in concern.

Aria, Totomaru, Sol, Bozo, Sue look at each other and know that they are completely screwed now that they realized their master is a fraud and a wimp. They all kneel down and cry for their mommies as well.

Lucy looks around for a moment, then narrows her eyes bravely and curls her hands into fists. She has to do something.

She bravely walks out of the cave. Aria, Totomaru, Sol, Bozo and Sue pop their heads out of the cave.

Lucy narrows her eyes as she stands in front of the dragon king. The dragon kings roars angrily at her.

Then, Lucy takes out one of her keys. The dragon king then arch an eyebrow puzzled.

"I open the gates, Virgo!" Lucy yelled as she waves her key and summons a pink-haired girl dressed like a maid.

"Hi there, do you want…pie?" Virgo said as she takes out a huge blueberry pie.

The dragon king gasped. "Yummy!" He roared. He licks his lip as he grabs the pie from Virgo. He drools as he flies away with the pie.

"Good job Virgo." Lucy said to Virgo with a smile. Virgo turns to her and bowed before she disappears.

"Hooray! Aria cheered.

"Lucy!" Sol said. He, Aria, Totomaru, Bozo and Sue runs over to Lucy and surround her as they cheered happily for her.

"I don't believe this." Jose said as he goes over to Lucy. "How did you know?"

"Everybody loves pie!" Lucy said. Jose and his guild droop their arms and drop their jaws.

"Wah wah wah." Totomaru said.

Jose narrows his eyes unimpressed and said to Lucy, "Well Lucy. It's good that you saved our lives but, you are still not in the guild because you didn't catch a dragon queen."

Aria, Totomaru, Sol, Bozo and Sue narrow their eyes angrily at Jose. How dare he still mocks her even after she saves their lives. They all go over to Jose.

"Um, what are you guys doing?" Jose asked puzzled. "YEOWCH!"

Aria, Totomaru, Sol, Bozo and Sue goes back to Lucy and they all gently placed Jose's hair onto Lucy's head, making her their new leader and master.

"Wow! I didn't know this was a wig!" Lucy said happily.

"It wasn't…" Jose said in pain as his hair is completely torn off. A tear rolled down his cheek.

* * *

><p>The next day, Lucy returned to the convention center and meets up with Natsu.<p>

"So Lucy, did you got into the guild?" Natsu asked with a smile, folding his arms.

"Yeah, but I turn them down." Lucy smiled back. "It's not about Jose, it's about dragons!"

Natsu made a huge grin and said, "Lucy, I'm glad you learn your lesson. Your worship is unhealthy." He then grabs the handle of a small cart which has the purple dragon costume man being tied up on it. "Come on Dibo." Natsu said as he and Lucy leave the convention center.

**THE END**


End file.
